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Outwardly, I was vivacious and self-confident, but inside I felt unworthy and hollow as my behaviors blanketed my soul in a shame I fought to ignore. “After moving from Texas to Florida at age 15, I was naturally searching for new friends. Drinking seemed to be my ticket into the ‘cool kids’ crew. Mixed with just the right amount of curiosity and boredom, this quickly led to binge drinking and using harder drugs. By the time I was 21, I was addicted to alcohol and cocaine. “The twelve steps are about spirituality.
I’ve dealt with a lot of grief in my sobriety but I haven’t picked up a drink, and I think it’s because for some weird reason it feels better walking through it and feeling everything. And thank god I have this foundation and structure that’s keeping me afloat. I wish that everyone could have these tools. If you’ve been using alcohol for a long time, you might be under the impression that you have no hope. But in reality, there are so many sobriety stories out there that can encourage and motivate you to get and stay clean for years to come.
Thriving in Sobriety: 7 Tips to Cure Boredom in Recovery
I know that I can get through anything with the support of my higher power and my sober comrades. It’s good to treat all sources of pain and anything that might have caused you to drink excessively. Finding a higher power was important for me; Valley Hope has great resources for this, including counselors and chaplains. Praying and pondering my addiction was helpful. If you do what you always did, you’ll get what you always got.
I grieved the girl that would have had champagne at her wedding and red wine on vacation in Italy. No matter how much I knew I absolutely needed to leave her behind, it was really hard. Addiction takes a sledge hammer to your confidence because you lose all control and constantly break promises to yourself. My confidence took longer to build back (and I still have work to do on it), but it’s one of the more noticeable changes I see in myself. For about the first 7 days, I felt like a shell of a human being. You can justify any behavior to yourself when you’re alone in your apartment, but it was at that moment I saw my behavior reflected back at me.
STRUGGLING WITH AN ALCOHOL PROBLEM?
And I don’t want people to think that — that’s not sobriety to me and is certainly not my experience. I feel more connected with myself and with others than I ever could have imagined. One day, I had my last whiskey and never had one again.
No more passing out on the bathroom floor with an empty belly and the spins. Only occasional brownouts, sober house or maybe blackouts, but I wouldn’t know. Mostly, I made the jelly jar my emblem of restraint.
Christina Rae struggled for years with addiction and when she got sober she wondered is this it?
I call my disease the disease of “more.” Alcohol was my first choice, but throughout my active addiction, I excessively used ecstasy, pain pills, marijuana, and cocaine. I was looking for more of whatever was available at that time in my life. My life changed forever on that day in 2013 when I decided to leave drugs and alcohol behind for good. Recovery has made my life better in every way possible and I am proud to share that with the world. Once I started to have some success in my running I realized that running could give me a platform to share my story of hope. I signed up to do a stage race in Patagonia Argentina in 2017 and started raising funds for that.
I attended daily AA meetings for the first ninety days. Later, I cut back to three to four meetings a week as I returned to taking call at work. At the appropriate time, with the guidance of my sponsor, I was able to make amends to everyone I had harmed, including myself.
Sober Motivation: Sharing Sobriety Stories
I now have slightly over one year of sobriety. I have contributed to discussions in IOP, Continuing Care along with supporting newcomers to AA in “first step” meetings. I have also led AA meetings for one meeting a week during a 9 month period. Also supported others (and they have supported me) in casual conversations before and after AA meetings.
What is the hardest month of sobriety?
For many people, the first few weeks of sobriety are the hardest. You may have withdrawal symptoms that are physically and emotionally uncomfortable. Cravings are also common during this time, which can tempt you to relapse. Treatment can help you get through this challenging period.
Sam R got himself into big trouble nearly at the expense of an innocent person’s life. The resulting collision injured the other driver, but it was his passenger who suffered the most. Despite wearing a seat belt, the injuries from the impact left her paralyzed. If I could drink like a “normal” person, it would mean I’d have a different brain and personality. My entire life, I have been a huge risk taker with an all-or-nothing mentality and a touch of non-comformity. I’ve always been incredibly resourceful with super effective communication & persuasion skills.
(Side note – If you are questioning your relationship with alcohol and just read that, thinking “well I’m not THAT bad,” you shouldn’t wait until your house is on fire to stop a gas leak). And this conversation isn’t just for people with problematic drinking habits. There is a stereotype for what someone with an “alcohol problem” looks like. I’m sure we all have the picture in our head – the older woman with 5 DUIs whose drinking tore her family apart or the man under the bridge drinking from a bottle hidden with a brown paper bag.